Last night I was invited over to a friends house to catch the Gopher hockey game with the crew. I have never been to this guys house before so I asked him for directions and like in any typical 21st century response he gives me his address and points me to Google Earth (Maps) for easy driving directions. I know telling me to take a left on Connelly and a right on Dakota is tough work and laying down your address is easy but this Google Map system has lead me astray before.
So I'm on the road enjoying some fresh Prodigy (it makes me drive faster for some reason) when I come up to a stop light with a mini van sitting at it. Upon closer examination it appears to have one of those fold down DVD players for the kids in the back. Now when these DVD players were first starting to be put into cars there was a huge issue of people driving around with porn on them giving the fellow people on the road a drive by snippet of two people banging the living hell out of each other only to leave the person next to them wondering if they really saw what they really saw. Well last night was not a porn that I witnessed but rather I was drive by educated with fun words like "Spot" and "Ball". These poor saps think that having your children watch educated videos starring inter-racial muppets and humans are really going to impact your child's future is almost as much rubbish as listening to classical music during pregnancy is going to create a little genius. The modern day parents will do anything to get their child to exceed farther in society and that means enduring countless hours of videos consisting of vegetables, explorers named Dora, and countless muppets that have A.D.D. Give my child a contemporary mobile and lets call it a day.
Back to last night and sorry for that tangent.
On my way over I knew I was entering dangerous waters when I take the first turn that Google Maps tell me and see that I'm entering the evil world of suburbia (now before people tell me that Eagan is suburbia you haven't met my neighbors). I continue down the road looking for Brunswick and all I see is state names. Louisiana, Maine, Georgia, and at this point I start to panic. I'm pretty good with directions and I feel like I never get lost so I call up Wade and ask him if I'm on the right road and reiterate to him that I'm worried that someone from the 'burbs is going to car jack me and take my Gap scarf. He told me "look for roads that are named after billiard tables". I'm stuck in states and he is speaking of billiard tables, oh crap. I pull off the main road and park my car in a cul-de-sac to find out where I was and where I should be going. As I'm sitting there I feel 30 eyes all staring out every window in the four house neighborhood. At one point I saw someone flicking lights on and off in a room either signaling the others to move in for the attack, call the cops, or it was just some rugrat having fun with a light switch. I get the hell out of there and find the house I'm looking for and walk into what appears to be a daddy day-care.
Damn why couldn't it have been a drive by porning?
1.21.2006
Vegitales
Last night I was invited over to a friends house to catch the Gopher hockey game with the crew. I have never been to this guys house before so I asked him for directions and like in any typical 21st century response he gives me his address and points me to Google Earth (Maps) for easy driving directions. I know telling me to take a left on Connelly and a right on Dakota is tough work and laying down your address is easy but this Google Map system has lead me astray before.
So I'm on the road enjoying some fresh Prodigy (it makes me drive faster for some reason) when I come up to a stop light with a mini van sitting at it. Upon closer examination it appears to have one of those fold down DVD players for the kids in the back. Now when these DVD players were first starting to be put into cars there was a huge issue of people driving around with porn on them giving the fellow people on the road a drive by snippet of two people banging the living hell out of each other only to leave the person next to them wondering if they really saw what they really saw. Well last night was not a porn that I witnessed but rather I was drive by educated with fun words like "Spot" and "Ball". These poor saps think that having your children watch educated videos starring inter-racial muppets and humans are really going to impact your child's future is almost as much rubbish as listening to classical music during pregnancy is going to create a little genius. The modern day parents will do anything to get their child to exceed farther in society and that means enduring countless hours of videos consisting of vegetables, explorers named Dora, and countless muppets that have A.D.D. Give my child a contemporary mobile and lets call it a day.
Back to last night and sorry for that tangent.
On my way over I knew I was entering dangerous waters when I take the first turn that Google Maps tell me and see that I'm entering the evil world of suburbia (now before people tell me that Eagan is suburbia you haven't met my neighbors). I continue down the road looking for Brunswick and all I see is state names. Louisiana, Maine, Georgia, and at this point I start to panic. I'm pretty good with directions and I feel like I never get lost so I call up Wade and ask him if I'm on the right road and reiterate to him that I'm worried that someone from the 'burbs is going to car jack me and take my Gap scarf. He told me "look for roads that are named after billiard tables". I'm stuck in states and he is speaking of billiard tables, oh crap. I pull off the main road and park my car in a cul-de-sac to find out where I was and where I should be going. As I'm sitting there I feel 30 eyes all staring out every window in the four house neighborhood. At one point I saw someone flicking lights on and off in a room either signaling the others to move in for the attack, call the cops, or it was just some rugrat having fun with a light switch. I get the hell out of there and find the house I'm looking for and walk into what appears to be a daddy day-care.
Damn why couldn't it have been a drive by porning?
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