Know Your Blogger Part 2

As I lay here in bed watching what I believe is the post post game show review (I think they have analyzed what brand of shoe laces and socks each player wore and how they affected the corresponding plays) for the most uninteresting Super Bowl in history I feel I should give the people something to read when they come into work on a nice Monday morning. So in continuation with the series "Know Your Blogger" I bring you my top 5 rants against the ideas of corporate america. 5) People who pee on the edge of the urinal. This doesn't just apply to working in a commercial building but all urinals in general. The "aiming hole" is large enough to birth a freaking whale in and yet people are hitting the edge in record numbers these days. I'm sure that some of it is nothing more than a little drip or shake off but most of it is poor aim. This cycle grows exponential with every user of the urinal as people move farther and farther away from it trying to avoid any sort of contact with the strangers pee. SIDE NOTE: It has been proven that urine is very sterile and we should have nothing to fear from it. By the end of the day the floor is soaking in piss and you avoid the bathroom like the plague. 4) The blind leading the blind. This one is pretty simple but I feel anyone working in the corporate setting will fully agree that the people training have no knowledge of what is going on and this is a continual cycle that gets worse with every generation. This could be compared with inbreeding. Sure the first generation might not have any mutations but by the time that you get 3 or 4 generations down the road you have a pretty messed up thing on your hands. 3) Email Conversations. There are many times when emails come into ones email box that have nothing to do with them. As you aren't the only one on the email you ignore it figuring that someone else will take care of the problem/issue/joke list. This is where that big ugly REPLY TO ALL button jumps into the equation and you then are dodging emails left and right about something that doesn't even pertain to you. After a good 20 emails you think that the problem is finally over with and the cycle starts over again. 2) Candy Dishes. A candy dish in my opinion is for someone who has a great deal of restraint making it nothing more than a decoration on your desk (much like a coffee cup full of pens or a rubber-band ball). The problem I have with them is I'm totally not a person that has any restraint at all when it comes to candy. The second issue I have is that I enjoy eating when I'm bored. Put these two things together and what you have is a major problem. 1) Communal Printers. This has to be one of my biggest (really I don't know if this list is in order or not...you decide) irks. This is the modern day version of the water cooler with people wanting to talk to you about the darnest things well are you want to do is pick up your printouts and get back to work. There are people who hang around the printer waiting for prints that are 10 items down the queue but they still check every piece of paper coming out of the slot to see if it is theirs. I have actually restored to wearing my headphones to and from my desk to avoid the awkwardness that is the communal printer. AUTHORS NOTE: This is in no way a reflection of my job, this is just a collection of ideas I have learned through my years on earth -B.